Evil Tomatoes!
by constant-confusion
Summary: Something I wrote when I was bored. Heh... My first story, be nice or I'll use German on you! *ninja pose*
1. EVIL FUZZY BUNNIES!

A/N: Ack, this is just a stupid attempt of me being funny. And it's my first ficcy to be posted, so please be nice. ^^ Please review so I know if it's good, altho all mah friends say it's funny. And tell me if I did anything wrong or if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them ^____^. I'll except (and expect) flames becuz if I don't, how am I gonna know if it was bad? If anyone really credits me with a super nice review, I might put you in my story but you'll need to give me a description of yourself. But I'm sure you don't wanna listen to my mindless babble anymore, cuz I tend to go on and on. So w/o further ado, Evil Tomatoes: Chaptah I!  
  
Evil Tomatoes!!  
  
Once upon a time in a land known as Hyrule, there lived a boy with a monkey tail. He is the idiotic hero of this story. His name is Zidane. But YOU can call him Monkey-Boy. *snicker snicker* Anyway, Zidane was walking down the road, coming home from his job at the steel mill, and minding his own stupidity when CRASH! He tripped over.A BODY?? Ew. Who would leave that there? So Zidane got up, rubbed his buttocks (tail included), and looked at what he tripped over. HE SAW A PRETTY GIRL!!! "Ooo la la," he mumbled. The PRETTY GIRL turned out to be.*trumpets blare* Kairi!!!!! Zidane started drooling uncontrolably and looked with sparkly eyes upon the beautiful girl (woman?) fate had blessed him with. Then, he began to think.  
  
Meanwhile. (Don't you just love those?)  
  
Ansem and Kuja were fighting over the last burrito. Heck, ???(?) had chosen that they be trapped by evil poes in the Desert Collosus and had to sacrifice their clothing to build a tent. So technically, they weren't fighting over the last burrito but they were fighting NAKED over the last burrito. Ha ha I proved ya wrong! Now you must give me wintergreen tictacs for I'm addicted to them as if they were a drug. Ahem, sorry. Anyway, Ansem just kicked Kuja in the ribs and Kuja doubled over in PAIN. PAIN. PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN. And HORROR. Can I make it anymore clear for you?  
  
"Poor Kuja, he got a boo-boo," Ansem teased. Little did Ansem know, he and Kuja were secretly being watched by a silver-haired, 15 year old beauty with a yellow tanktop and puffy blue pants known as Ri-oops, my bad. I mean, CAN YOU GUESS WHO IT IS????? Eheheheheheh.  
  
End of Chaptah I.  
  
A/N: Yes, I know it's short. Next chaptah will be longer, I promise. I hope- ith you enjoyed it my little readers. I have a pet log-ith. *strokes pet log lovingly* Good boy Loggy. NOW REVIEW!!!! I need-ith to know if I should- ith continue. So whilst you wait-ith for me, I suggest-ith you go read Nyxe's fic Bound by Darkness cuz it's the best-ith. NOW!! Oh yeah, I do know who Kuja is, however, I have not yet gotten to the part in FF9 with him. I've seen pictures, and at first I thought he was a girl. I also own FF8, 9 and 10, but that's it of FF. In FF8 I'm going to the Fire Temple or whatever it is, I forget. In FF10 I'm right before the part with the shoopuf (if that's how you spell it). In FF9 I'm at Black Waltz Numbuh 3. And I've beaten KH, of course. I also have Okage: Shadow King and I HIGHLY suggest that you buy it. I have a blast every time I play it. I will post chaptah II at.3 reviews, okay? 3 measley reviews is all I ask for. And the first person to review will be credited ^^. Dang, the author note is practically longer than the chaptah. 


	2. THEY TOOK THE CHEESE!

0_o Chapter two for Evil Tomatoes. Written by...Storm, the Keyblade Mistress? 0~0 And now you ask what the heck's going on. Well, Riku173 and I are working together on this story. There. Now you know.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this story. Nor does Riku173. All I own is this lump of cheese. eats the cheese ;_; Now I own nothing.  
  
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Hmm. Now people, please keep in mind that thinking is not something Zidane AKA Monkey-boy can do all that well. He continued to TRY and think while at the same time he drooled over Kairi and...TRIED to think some more. He swished his tail back and forth and frowned.  
  
And gasp! He thought of something!  
  
"Who would leave such a pretty girl here, all alone?" he wondered aloud. He stared down at the girl and endless strings of slime AKA mister Monkey- boy's drool continued to pour from his mouth. And as he sat there, staring at Kairi and wondering what to do, one of those evil "strings of slime" (and upon hearing this several people fall off their desks. ^^) landed smack on Kairi's face.  
  
Zidane screamed like a little girl. "Oh no! I killed her!" he screeched. He promptly began running around in a circle, screaming for help.  
  
Kairi twitched, moaned, and got up. She cringed and Zidane came to an abrupt halt (but not before crashing and knocking over several trees). The red haired girl put a finger to her cheek and wiped away the "string of slime" (and yet again several people fall of their desks). She stared at her now slimy hand. Then she pulled a random paper towel out of nowhere and wiped her hand clean. She tossed the slimy paper towel over her shoulder and a mob of angry people wielding signs that read "DON'T LITTER! SAVE THE FORESTS!" came running at her.  
  
Zidane immediately tried to act like a hero. He struck a pose and said, "Don't worry, my fair lady! I shall protect you." And then just like in those weird movies everything got slow and Zidane's voice got very deep as he screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". Need I go on? Oh yeah, I probably should. Forgive meh. ^~^  
  
And with that Zidane knocked Kairi out of the mob's path. And just as he began to dance for joy, the world sped up again and poor mister Monkey-boy was trampled.  
  
Gasp! What has happened to Zidane?! Is he still alive?! What will Kairi's reaction BE?!?!?! You must wait, and find out in chapter three!!  
  
...Oh yeah.... I still have the other half of the story to write. Sorry. scurries away  
  
(And MEANWHILE!!)  
  
And GASP! Just as Ansem was about to eat the last burrito, the silver haired beauty LEAPED for the insane, darkness obsessed man and snatched the burrito in his mouth.  
  
Ansem narrowed his eyes and growled. "Bad Riku! Gimme that!" Ansem snarled, leaping for Riku, who barked like a dog and dropped the burrito in the sand.  
  
"Grr...WHY YOU LITTLE-" Ansem grabbed a rolled up newspaper and proceeded to beat poor Riku with it, Kuja now forgotten. And we all say: "Poor Kuja."  
  
But many of you say: "Poor Riku."  
  
"Ow! Ow!" Riku yelped as Ansem (who, by the way, was still naked) continued to bash him over the head with the rolled up newspaper O doom. "Okay! I mean...BARK!!" And with that, Riku turned tail and ran away.  
  
As he ran, Ansem chased after him.  
  
And Riku, still barking madly, tripped over a rather evil looking lion. He squeaked and said, "Mr. Lion! Help me! The crazy man is after me! HE'S GONNA EAT ME ALIVE!!"  
  
Scar turned his head away, his tail twitching in annoyance. "No."  
  
Riku blinked and cooed. "Aww...such a cute wee kitty!" He patted Scar's head. Scar growled.  
  
"Go away," the lion grumbled.  
  
"I like cheese," Riku said with a grin.  
  
"Go away," Scar snarled.  
  
"Gimme some yo cheese," Riku continued.  
  
"Leave me alone," Scar muttered, almost begged.  
  
"Can I keep you for a pet?"  
  
"GAH!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" Scar roared, running away and causing Ansem to trip over him. Ansem thought hard as he stared at Scar, using what little brain cells he possessed to think this all though. Hmm...that lion...was Riku is disguise!  
  
And unfortunately for poor, poor Scar, he was now the one running away with Ansem beating on him with a rolled up newspaper.  
  
And Riku smirked, standing up and starting to walk away...when he slipped on a "string of slime" (thump).  
  
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0_o Please don't mind this crappy attempt at helping my friend with her story. Don't kill me. Thankies, R&R...oh for Pete's sake, you know the routine! ^^ smiles 


End file.
